Confessions of An Indecisive Restaurant Patron

Restaurant hunting. It's good I'm traveling alone, because I'd drive my traveling companion batshit looking for a place to eat. I avoid busy-bee places jam-packed with outdoor seating — those would be fine with a group — and I avoid solemn places where the owner is standing outside smoking. I try to avoid places serving beef, which clears away at least 60% of the establishments.

In some cases, I walk through city streets and village alleys until surrender, with the previous caveats still under consideration. Why? I guess I need to feel the right vibe. I say that like I'm some sort of Restaurant Whisperer, but, as with most things, I'm a novice in the realm of French food.

Last night, I ended up at a place called "Bistro R," which is next door to Pau's much-touted "Le Majestic." The staff at R. was great, and the food wonderful, particularly the amuse bouche, a "cappuccino" of cream and crab. The braised fish was delightful, and I was about to order a white wine glacé when several boisterous patrons, clearly lit from a previous engagement, entered and began the sort of volumetric colonialism that overtakes any previously successful attempt at quiet dining. The owner gave me a knowing shrug when I rose to pay the bill and leave, and I noticed a couple who'd been sitting next to me do the same.

The previous night, I walked around and around before surrendering to the fine folks at Cantina du Bouch. There, I had one of the specials, a "Saint-Jacques," which was a plate of 6 open scallops topped with an orange cheese and red pepper. They tasted like hamburger sliders, only they weren't BEEF. The only other restaurant experience I had was in Toulouse at Le Pyrénéen in Jean-Jaurès. There, I had a salmon carpaccio and escargot. With escargot, it's all about dipping the bread in the butter sauce. Nectar of the Gods. The snails themselves are just a delivery device for butter. Isn't everything here? I consumed an entire block of butter in my first four days in Toulouse.

Butter. It's what's for breakfast. Lunch. Dinner.